Testing

Testing

how long has it been?

i wonder how it ends up this way
wonder why you left me behind my friend
funny how my life seems to end
by the way
how long has it been?

wonder why this takes me away
but i swear nothing takes your place my friend
pull it back and just beyond my grasp again
by the way
how long has it been?

i can see your light as it's coming down on me
but i can't change all the time between us
and i spend my life by your side
hold you when you fall
my eyes welling up again
how long has it been?

little child, there is solace in these thoughts you'll find
that i can't forget the piece of me that's you
far away, and backing further, back away
so i'm lost until once again i spend my days
with you

i can see your light as it's coming down on me
but i can't change all the time between us
and i spend my life by your side
hold you when you fall
my eyes welling up again
how long has it been?

wonder why the pain must come again
wonder why you left me behind my friend
wonder why my life seemed to end
by the way
how long has it been?

me and jesus

i told jesus to go to hell
and surprisingly
woke up with holes in my hands
a cut on my side
and one hell of a righteous crown

i must say that i tried to run
but fell three times
a cross on my back
(and simon just stood there and laughed)

i met these three ladies
on my stroll to the hill
and they were all distressed
to see me in my sorry state
(and calling me some sort of king)

one came forth to wash my face
and i made that shroud so holy

but the image i left was not my own

not even rain

sentimental foolish boy
turning into a sentimental man
and the foolish games he plays
she holds them in her hands

a sophisticated girl
almost nothing more than a child
and there's nothing that she hates like him
and his wicked eyes and smile

and the whole world saw his face
as he quickly turned it away
he turned it away
she said "we've seen some better days..."
as they quietly fell from grace
they fell from grace

and he fell over his own words
they were words he created to fall
but he fell
and she waited for one last touch
for the touch that she wanted
to feel what he felt
and she felt what he felt

here they held their laughter up against their deepest fears
and smiling laughed and said "not even rain can touch us here"
here they closed their eyes
smiling holding back their tears
and shaking laughed and said "not even rain can touch us here"

and she'd never speak a word
of what she saw in his eyes
that made that woman a girl
and made that girl a child

and he'll never hold like that
and he'll never be understood
and no one can give that place to hide
at least not like she could

and the whole world helped him lay in the quiet place she made
he said "we've seen some better days..."
and she quietly fell from grace

and he fell over his own words
they were words he created to fall
but he fell
and she waited for one last touch
for the touch that she wanted
to feel what he felt
and she felt what he felt

here they held their laughter up against their deepest fears
and smiling laughed and said "not even rain can touch us here"
here they closed their eyes
smiling holding back their tears
and shaking laughed and said "not even rain can touch us here"

and now they're memories
and memory is the only way how not even rain can touch them now

let me go on

i'm thirteen
but i feel i'm so much older
stepfather likes to teach with his hand
i'm so shy
but i'm getting so much bolder
doing things that no one else can understand

i don't want it
no i just need some time away
i don't need your saviors or sins
there's nothing left for me here
i've got no reason to stay

i cry out in my sleep when i'm not so alseep
there's something down there that wants me, i know
it's been so long since i felt this growing aching need
but this stupid town won't let me go

i don't want it
no i just need some time away
i don't need your saviors or sins
there's nothing left for me here
i've got no reason to stay

let me go on
let me go on
it's been far too long
far too long

i'm dressed up because it's as close to expression as anyone down here is going to get
we're still trapped
and we're all just only guessing
and this town is going to drag us down yet

i don't want it
no i just need some time away
i don't need your saviors or sins
there's nothing left for me here
i've got no reason to stay

i've been hurt
and i know i've done some hurting
and sometimes it pulls apart at the seams
i'm so gone and my friends are getting worried
say i'm spending too much time on these dreams

i don't want it
no i just need some time away
i don't need your saviors or sins
there's nothing left for me here
i've got no reason to stay

let me go on
let me go on
it's been far too long
far too long

regrets, i guess i can't say that i have none
but something tells me that i'll be all right
something tells me i'm gonna be all right

know love

my sister
she was raped by a black man
i didn't think it mattered, the color of his skin
but some people thought that it should
she said "father, forgive them, they know not what they do..."

and i knew then that she knew love better than they could
i knew then that she just knew love better than they could

i saw a boy about 6, quiet, serene
playing jacks in the park
some kids came down from up the hill
started fucking with him because he was dark
i broke it all up before it could start
i looked into his eyes and i could see his broken heart
i took his hand in mine
asked "what can i do?"
he said "paint me up white so i can be like them and you."

what else could i say?
i said "you don't want that"

there was a man down my street
he had funny ideas
and he talked to himself. a lot.
one night around ten he was sitting on a bench doing nothing
and he found himself shot
his eyes stayed wise but he never walked again
he said, "they took nice cents... it was all that i had"
and when i asked him how he really felt about that
he said "they must have needed it bad"

and i knew then that he knew love better than i could
i knew then that he just knew love better than i could

unfinished 637

and now we sleep
how much of this was a dream?
and now i raise my head from the earth that was my bed
but i won't let the night penetrate me

so hush baby
it's just the wind that's calling to me
and i promise not to follow
i'll still be here tomorrow
don't waste your thoughts on the likes of me

lost or found?
i don't believe you still come around
if a tree fell south in the forests of your mouth
i still don't think you'd make any sound

the phantom of the living room

how'd you make me fall away?
forget about the choices that we made
the way we laughed and played
now push me off and call me names

naked now and so afraid
though i may seem big i feel so small
did you notice that at all?
i feel so small...

and now you've seen my face again
and said i'm ugly
and now you've seen my face again
i leave it to you where to go from here
where to go...

slap the face again
i guess it's my fault for leaving it there
all i ever needed was a friend
somebody show me someone cares

is there anybody out there?
is there truly anybody ever really out there?
i don't know and i don't care
i never liked phys. ed. anyway

and now you've seen my face again
and said i'm ugly
and now you've seen my face again
i leave it to you where to go from here
where to go...

like a child

i remember the days, but moreso the nights
i remember the chill
that white winter bite

i remember the fire set so deep in your eyes
i remember the way you looked just like a child

but if i could go back,
what could i say?

it was more like some severity
split and drawn and you severed me
and i can't forget how i hit my knees
that night i smashed your picture
and i screamed and i screamed and i screamed

i threw the phone and the phone was dead
so i hit the walls with my fists and head
and i wouldn't sleep
for the things i dread would find me in my empty bed
my bleeding hands
my aching head

but if i could go back,
what could i say?

just stay for a while
like an icicle slide further in to this heavy-eyed child
just never believe the things that you see
when you peel back the skin
it can never be if you think what you see is me

untitled

you of extra-ordinary
beautygrace; you of evil descent
you will not leave me to my rooms
for thought or reflection,
you will not taste upon my cheeks
the salted rivers of desire
or regret.

you will not tear through any piece of me
with you right eye
or your left,
nor will you intrude upon my softer dreaming
with anything delicate about your face,
the lips especially.

you will not change my view on humanity,
you will not prod me towards any sort
of belief i've previously dis-proved

or,
then

you might.


~jay morgans

unabridged

her tongue knows how
to speak pleasure
onto skin
and comfort
to a penitent ear.

the words,
much like the licking,
are alive and
dancing
some sort of
celebration.

and her face---
it has more definition
than
Webster's 10th.

~jay morgans

the morgans project mp3s

i've been uploading a few mp3s to the site. old ones so far.

All The King's Horses by Jay Morgans

All The King's Horses by Jay Morgans