quotes

at one point, themorgansproject.com featured a famous and not so famous collection of quotes. this post includes one version of that page.

"You don't go on 'probably' when love and guns are in hand."
~Charles Bukowski, Pulp

"Often the best parts of life were when you weren't doing anything at all, just mulling it over, chewing on it. I mean, say that you figure that everything is senseless, then it can't quite be senseless because you are aware that it's senseless and your awareness of senselessness almost gives it sense. You know what I mean? And optimistic pessimism."
~Charles Bukowski, Pulp

"Let me tell you a little secret... Never let a cat around acid."
~Toby Lyons, at an afterhours Nightbreed knowledge exchange

"I've come to believe that corruption comes from within."
~Saint Peter, over Captain Morgan and Black Haus rainbows at Martini's, downtown Wilkes-Barre

"I haven't failed. I've found 10,000 ways that won't work."
~Benjamin Franklin

"Work is the curse of the drinking class."
~Oscar Wylde

"...was that Music? Hmm..did the singer actually hit a note?"
~"RenaissanceWomin," regarding The Morgans Project's "ani difranco wants me"

"I am down on whores and I shant quit ripping them till I do get buckled."
~Jack the Ripper, in a letter to the Central News Agency.

"'Just because' itself is reason just enough."
~Pain

"This was a goddess who could not dance, would not dance, and hated everybody at the high school. She would like to claw away her face, she told us, so that people would stop seeing things in it that had nothing to do with what she was like inside. She was ready to die at any time, she said, because what men and boys thought about her and tried to do to her made her so ashamed. One of the first things she would do when she got to heaven, she said, was to ask somebody what was written on her face and why it had been put there."
~Kurt Vonnegut, Deadeye Dick

"But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasures, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears."
~Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

"If the little pervert's pouring, I'm there."
~(Saint) Peter Oliver, on the use of wine in church.

"I would never ever do anything as vulgar as having fun."
~Steven Morrissey

"Jay Morgans? He's the devil."
~Dan Falkowski

"What I lack in talent I make up for by having no charisma whatsoever."
~Jay

"I'm still in love with every woman I've ever been in love with."
~Jack Nicholson

"To the as-yet-unborn, to all innocent wisps of undifferentiated nothingness: Watch out for life."
~Kurt Vonnegut, Dead Eye Dick

"I am the dumbest bitch to ever scratch an itch."
~Ed Carle

"That is my principal objection to life, I think: It is too easy, when alive, to make perfectly horrible mistakes."
~Kurt Vonnegut, Dead Eye Dick

"Why must you tempt me like a sluggish monkey? Why must you toy with me like some kind of . . . toy?"
~The tiger in a Frosted MiniWheats commercial

"Quit reading Oscar Wylde and start taking amphetamines."
~Tippy, sitting at the bar at Gonda's

"It's a great life if you don't weaken."
~Nan (Jay&Jesse's grandmother)

"Love, and do what you like."
~St. Augustine

"Be wary of alcohol. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss."
~Robert A. Heinlein

"Music is the only sensual gratification which mankind may indulge in to excess without injury to their moral or religious feelings."
~Joseph Addison (1672-1719)

"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
~A Bit of Fry and Laurie

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
~William James

"Gold makes an awkward nest."
~Karawynn Long

"Love is like friendship caught on fire."
~Bruce Lee

"Trying is the first step towards failure."
~Homer Simpson

"'Screw women, play guitar...' That's gonna be on my tombstone"
~Jason Page

"...then you're a spoonhead."
~Jay stealing one of Jesse's phrases to settle an argument at an early So What practice. (submitted by Hugh Brightside.)

"I will never smoke a cigarette."
~Daniel W. Falkowski

"My true purpose . . . made me so desperate that real anguish tore my voice. I suggested that my artistic and outdoors pursuits were healthy, whereas beating your children bloody was something you didn't want the neighbors to hear about."
~Chris Furman, The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys

"Drink until she's cute, but stop before the wedding."
~Unknown

"You pyromaniac... I want my bridges back."
~Eileen Brennan of Nimbus

"It doesn't take seven minutes to get a sixpack."
~Isaac "Ike" Sutton, on following Jesse into Boris's Bar in South WIlkes-Barre to see what the trauma was.

"We just wronged two rights."
~Tippy, after one of the violent outbreaks downtown.

"Why does he play here all the time? He sucks."
~some 15-yr old girl at the Cafe Metropolis, regarding Jay's dubious musical talents.

"The only thing wrong with yesterday is today."
Tony Wilson, helping Jay cope with a madass hangover somewhere just outside of Kentucky.

"It's too bad you can't dip it in ink and draw with it..."
~Fast Eddie, on a topic of questionable origin.

"i fell asleep last night after listening to thirtysome repetitions of "tonight"(?) and then proceed to have a vivid nightmare where i was being viciously attacked by rats the size of cocker spaniels i advise you to post a disclaimer"
~taken from an email to Jay from Amanda Somma

"Don't be kissin girls, you're gonna get impetego."
~Jesse

"Now, these old fucks can steal all they want, and they can go and pass laws saying you can't say what you want. You can't look at this, and you can't look at that... You can't smoke this, you can't snort that... Me, baby, I got statistics. I've got stats. These people have been to bed with their parents."
~Lou Reed, "Sex With Your Parents"

"You've got to be careful when you're talking to people who listen."
~Tony Wilson

"Uh, we uh, got a report of someone being assaulted upstairs..."
~A Wilkes-Barre Police officer responding to Fast Eddie playing a large, makeshift tin drum at 5:30 a.m. at the den of evil.

"Apparently I'M STILL DRUNK."
~Weekender Assistant Editor and Nightbreed cohort Mike Faillace, with a next-morning reference to the night before.

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Have an interesting quote we could use here? Email Jay with it...