end

dear friendship,
what a tight little group we make here at school
i'm that one
and you're one too
i can tell just when i look at you
it's different when they look at you

dear teacher,
don't think i have forgotten that last crime
that you inflicted upon my very fragile and delicate person
it's not right
it was not right
it could not be even in your best light
what you did
it wasn't right
no it wasn't right

dear father,
where were you last night?
i was looking for you
it seems i couldn't sleep
and i waited
frustrated
stared at the walls for hours
and you never left me anything but your genes

i couldn't be who i've always tried to be
no matter how hard i tried
and i couldn't see the things you wanted me to be
i couldn't see through your eyes
i couldn't wait for the years to come to pass
these lessons we all must learn
i tried so hard
i let it fall away
i couldn't be
i couldn't be more than hurt

dear mother,
i'm watching myself turn into something
i'm not quite sure what
i know you
and i see you look at me
like i'm something you've never seen before
or ever since me
how'd you let me go so far
it's not your fault but it's not my fault
how'd you let me slip so far
i tried to be something more than i am

i couldn't be who i've always tried to be
no matter how hard i tried
i know you're hurt
it all comes from me before
but this time i swear i'll try
i wanted you to see me for something i might be
or i might grow to be
you couldn't see
you couldn't see through me
i tried
please see through me

dear sister,
do you remember that game we used to play
when i'd lay you out upon the railroad tracks
and whistle for the train
i do
i remember just like it was yesterday
or maybe it was
i guess it could've been yesterday

i see you when you stare
what, did you expect me to care?
well i don't
because i've got mine
i never asked for any of these things
that you lay upon my brow
i'd love to take but i don't know how

hey bretheran,
i see you
you used to be something i thought i wanted to be
but i never had the strength to be
i still look towards you for respect and admiration
i give unto you
do you give it back to me to?
you're my own
and i know this
it's nothing anyone could come between
below or above me
we're something that i don't know
i've never seen the likes of this before
i think i might even call it love

i couldn't be who i've always tried to be
no matter how hard i tried
and i wanted you to see me for these things i am
not just the look in my eyes
i've wanted you
i wanted to become something much better than i might be
i've wanted you for so long
it makes me wonder how should i be?
do you want to tell me how i should be?
because i'm no good at me...

hey father,
can you see me now?
look at these things you've done
i'm writhing on your floor
just like you did the night before
and i'm looking
and i'm waiting
yeah i'm lost
maybe i'm frustrated
but i will not fold
like you taught me to fold
you taught me two-fold

you can't tell me i'm wrong
would you like me to sing you a song?
i hope you'd sing along
because i know now i'm not alone
like i thought i was so alone
hey, everyone thinks they're alone

hey i now have these thoughts
and now i have these dreams
and i'm looking for answers
do you think you could tell me what it means?
i'd like to know what this could mean
i'd like to learn more than how to bleed

hey mother,
look at me now
i'm sorry if i frightened you that morning
you shouldn't have to find me this way
i tried to lock my door
i figured...
i don't know what i figured
guess i could just call it a mistake
i guess i'll say it's a mistake

i couldn't be who i've always tried to be
no matter how hard i've tried
i wanted this for so long
it makes me wonder
if i really want to die
i don't look back
i don't look towards you for comfort
i know it's more than you can give
i tell you now
i didn't want it to be like this
i swear i just wanted to live
don't we all want to live?
i won't forget you i won't forget you for this

i couldn't be who i've always tried to be
no matter how hard i've tried
now look at me
tell me what you see inside me
what is it you see inside?
i wanted you
wanted to tell you these things
before it was too late to decide
it's over now
just take one look at me
i'll tell you to view everything with my eyes

i couldn't be who i've always tried to be
no matter how hard i've tried
i've wanted you for so long
it makes me wonder do i really want to die?
i'll tell you now the things i never tried to tell you
i guess i know i tried
i wanted you to leave me behind
i'm lost and not worth this long ride

~jay morgans